Hitting 490

If motherhood had a uniform I think it could be a referee shirt.  Mediator, arbitrator, umpire, and peacemaker are all listed under duties I perform in this career I’ve chosen. Don’t get me wrong, we are a loving family. However, when seven people live under one roof, there are bound to be disputes. I do my best to work to maintain the peace in my little corner of the world.

I have vast experience in peace negotiations of all types.  I have stepped in to settle personal property clashes which have resulted in a tug of war over a stuffed animal. Another one of my specialties is resolution of land disputes stemming from two children sharing a bedroom. Resolution of instances of character defamation due to name calling is also within my skill set. Sometimes I have even resorted to drastic measures to achieve peace, including issuing restraining orders to keep the party of the first part from looking at the party of the second part.

My ultimate goal isn’t just to “make the voices stop”. The sincere desire of my heart is to grow and nurture a close-knit, loving family. The problem is we’re all human.  Sometimes we hurt one another’s feelings or just plain make each other mad.  Unfortunately, we are all repeat offenders. 

One afternoon I was in “mommy arbitration” mode telling Jacob, who was 7 at the time, he needed to forgive his sister and accept her apology.  He asked me how many times he had to forgive her for the same thing.  I was thrilled to have the perfect moment to share Matthew 18:21-22:

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Jacob immediately replied, “I hit 490 a long time ago”.  At that moment I realized that explaining the concept of a parable to a 7 year old math whiz isn’t always easy.

Later that night as I was telling my husband about my conversation with Jacob. We both chucked at his comment, thinking it was just “so Jacob”.  After we said our good nights, I lay awake thinking more about this parable.  Have there been times I have felt I have “hit 490”?  After spending some time in self-evaluation, I realized that sometimes I don’t always live as if I grasp the meaning of this parable.  I have been forgiven so much and yet I sometimes place limits on my forgiveness.  First Corinthians tells us that love keeps no record of wrongs.  If I profess to believe that, I can’t keep a running tally.  That night I began to examine my heart and prayed that I could practice what I preached to my children.

I would love to tell you that I haven’t drew a single tally mark since that night, but I want to be honest. Change isn’t easy and I am working hard. What I can tell you is that choosing to forgive tastes so much sweeter than holding the bitterness of unforgiveness within me.  I am a work in progress and with the Lord’s help I won’t throw up my hands and say that I’ve hit 490.