Choosing to Respond......
“Today I will focus on responding with gentleness, kindness & love rather than responding in turn to unkind or harsh words” is my current Facebook status. Even as I hit the “post” button to display my words, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Part of me posted it as a declaration to the enemy to let him know I was on to his schemes and wasn’t going to take the bait. Yet, another part of me wondered if going public with my plan was just an invitation for trouble. Whatever the case, I put my battle cry out there for the world to see.
Evidentially, I am not alone in my struggle. Shortly after I posted my Facebook status, several of my friends “liked” my status and commented. One friend wished me well and reminded me it would be a battle because there are a lot of difficult people out there. He was absolutely right. Another friend opened her heart and shared that she fights this battle too and feels like she is failing. Yet another friend commented she was joining in and asked for prayer. It became clear that I was not alone in this fight and that truly encouraged me.
So begins another lesson I’m learning on this journey. I’m discovering things about myself along the way. I know words evoke powerful emotions. I also believe that just as some people are sensitive to light, cold or noise; some people are sensitive to words. I am one of those people. When someone speaks with kindness and gentleness to me it just fills my heart with peace and joy. Conversely, when someone speaks unkind or harshly to me it affects me greatly. Sometimes such words make me feel indignant and angry. Other times I feel heartbroken and devalued.
The Lord is teaching me that I cannot change or be responsible for the way others speak to me but I am responsible for and can change how I respond. Initially I thought I was learning not to respond in anger or be harsh in return. However, I’m also learning that I cannot respond by acting wounded and withdrawn. That’s difficult for me. When words wound me, my natural inclination is to begin the “pity party” and focus on the hurt inflicted upon me. I am a tender hearted person by nature. While that is the way the Lord made me, I am still responsible for exercising self-control over my emotions and my emotional responses. In short, I’ve a great deal of work to do.
This morning I opened my verse of the day and in HIS perfect timing the Lord placed this verse before my eyes:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”(Ephesians 4:2)
I’m thankful for the reminder that I need to be humble, remembering it isn’t always all about me. Sometimes when people are rude, harsh or unkind it has nothing to do with the person they are speaking to. Maybe they are under a great deal of pressure and stressed to the max. While it doesn’t excuse their harsh words it also doesn’t give me the right to respond in turn. That’s where the bearing with one another in love part comes in. Some translations use the word “forbearance” which means to tolerate. Instead of reacting with anger or hurt, I need to simply overlook what they’ve said.
As I working in this area I am arming myself with a few verses of scripture. (See below) My goal is to meditate on these verses so that they penetrate my heart and help me react and speak in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. I’ll keep you posted on my progress along the way!
Be Blessed!
Leslie
“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”(Luke 6:45)
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
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